Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Who are you?

If we think deeply, I hope we all will agree on a same point that many of our problems are self created. The source of self-created problems is the fact that we mistake the self-image for our real self.

Self-image is nothing but the compiled projections of our identity. Self-image is a cluster of names and forms by which we differentiate ourselves from the rest of our environment. We have different self-images as a parent, as a spouse, or as a colleague. We perform various roles in various spheres of life. Each of these roles creates a certain impression of our self in our consciousness. Thus, one sees oneself as a liberal parent or as a task-oriented boss or as a considerate spouse. All these images of ourselves help us to stabilize our identities in our own eyes.

The problem occurs whenever we confront a reality not consistent with our self-image. For instance, when one receives information from outside world that one is an autocratic boss, or an “uncaring spouse”, or an “ugly fat slob”, one’s self-image is hurt. We attempt to defend our self-image by various means. We may become angry or indifferent to the outside reality. We may take negative feedback from others too seriously and feel dejected. We may also try to adapt something we imagine to be socially acceptable. All these methods may give us a temporary sense of relief, but they cannot equip us with the mirage that is our self-image.

Self-image makes us vulnerable to changes outside us. If our self-image is one of an evergreen youth, the appearance of the first grey hair makes us lose sleep. We are traumatized by the single rejection slip from an editor, if our self-image is that of a successful writer. Our self-image makes us vulnerable simply because much of this image is unreal. One’s self-image is a frozen model of our real selves. Just as a model is a symbol or attribute of reality and not the entire reality, one’s self-image is merely a projection of the real self. More often than not, this projection is a distortion of the real self, just as a shadow is a distortion of the real substance.

How does one go beyond the veil of self-image in search of the real self? The quest for the self can begin only when we have turned our attention from the world outside to the world inside. This is also a transformation in the quality of our seeing: from mere sight to insight. The journey towards self-realization involves the disciplines of silence and solitude. Silence frees us from the noise of our exterior consciousness and allows us to probe our inner voice. Solitude enables us to be intimate with ourselves. In deep silence and solitude we begin to glimpse the truth of our lives. We realize that whatever exists is an expression of existence and that our many ways of living are expressions of life itself. We also understand, as the Bhagavad Gita tells us, “The unreal has no being: the real never ceases to be. The final truth about them both has thus been perceived by the seers of ultimate reality” . A course in miracles echoes this truth is saying that which is real cannot be threatened and that which is unreal does not exist.

I have often asked some of my friends from all walk of my little life, “who are you?” I received predictable answers such as, “I am an engineer, or a marketing manager, or an ENT specialist”. The next question I asked is,” Who knows you are all of these?” this time the answers revolve around ‘mind’ or ‘thought’. Then I proceed to ask the final question, “Who knows you have a mind?” this time a silence descends on my friends. In that silence we begin to look the truth of our selves, which is beyond all names and forms.

4 comments:

Indrajit said...

half porlam.. Baaki half ektu time niye porbo... :)

A2SH said...

A nice read. Truly we have a perception about our own self and trying to do a paradigm shift causes a huge effort and willingness. The most difficult thing is that people are not aware of their own inner self. We are living in this materialistic world where fashionable designations comes before everything.

Shims said...

bhaalo likechis.. :) :) :).. i think u shud make all employee of sunpharma read this.. wat do u say??

Unknown said...

Deep thought... Substantial research .
True we are self image conscious and in order to keep that intact we lost our real self.